Look up. Look forward. Keep moving on.
“Nad. Lift your head up.”
That’s what they said.
The truth is I couldn’t.
I don’t really know why. Maybe shame. Fear. Or sheer tiredness.
I couldn’t bring myself to lift up my head.
It takes everything out of you.
Today was different.
I woke up hopeful.
Not sad. Not yet happy. But hopeful.
I took a long shower. I painted my toes. I blowed out my hair.
I said my affirmation. Out loud. I read them slowly. I looked my self in the mirror.
I have a hot lemon water. I sat and journaled.
I listened to a Calm meditation on mindful eating. I chewed slowly. I concentrated on every bite.
I went to the park.
I wasn’t scared or fearful.
I didn’t rush.
I listened to my favourite music.
I walked. I stopped. I took pictures.
I looked closely. I examined nature got up and close with the trees.
And then I saw it the crack in the ground.
So I looked up.
I looked at the tallest tree.
I looked up at the sky.
I admired it.
Isn’t nature beautiful.
And the I stopped.
In life you have a few options you can stand still crying over the cracks.
You can look back.
Or you can look forward.
You can look up.
You can capture a moment.
You can stand still.
You can run you can hide.
Or you can stand still.
When you standstill with your shoulders back and your head up, your strong.
You can make a plan.
Think of the next step.
Not a big step.
You can take all the time you need standing still until your ready to take that step.
And one day you’ll be ready.
You’ll look at depression and say I’m victorious because God has already overcome.
It can be long, lonely, cold standing there.
But if you stand you can rest.
You need to rest.
“You need to look up. Nad.”
“Can you see the colour of my eyes” that’s what she asked.
I didn’t want to look.
I couldn’t look.
Sometime you can’t.
But you have to try.
Look up. Not down.
Down at the floor.
Down at your phone.
Down at the cracks.
You are victorious.
Nad. Yes you.
You’d forgotten so I’m here to remind you.
So look up.
Look up and smile.
Smile at the because world that Gods created.
Look up and laugh.
Laugh because you’ve been through a lot.
Don’t be hard on yourself. Don’t beat yourself up.
Look up. Look forward. Get perspective.
Look up. Look how far you’ve come.
Keep moving. Step by step.
You’ll get through this.
You are a child of God.
So you are victorious.
All it took was a moment.
A picture captured by a lovely passer by.
She didn’t know the meaning.
She didn’t know the power of the moment.
She didn’t realise the victory.
She didn’t see the days you were hiding in bed.
She didn’t see the tears you couldn’t cry.
She didn’t know the pain. The frustration. The anger.
At the situation. At life. At yourself. At God.
She just heard a question.
Can you take a picture.
So she did.
And that picture should act as a reminder.
To always look forward.
The future is bright.
I have this hope.
You’re victorious and soon you’ll believe it.
Soon you’ll realise the truth.